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Claus or any of his enterprises. You are further notified of a pending suit for slandering Mr. Claus by suggesting that his legitimate business inquiries on sleeping children are some form of pedophilia. The last item is a charge of conspiracy by suggesting that he kidnap people. Respectfully,Elf and Elf Esquire-----Listen-up Fat Boy: Dec 23 Hey! Call off your lawyer dogs! This is supposed to be between you and me! Besides, I can get my own lawyers; they said they'd work pro-bono. (Something about a neglected Jewish childhood and its payback time?) Oh, come on Santa. You remember 1954? I didn't get the Schwin bike, but somebody in red was sure eating my mommy's cookies that night.Your pal,Bad Irving-----Dear Bad: Dec 24 Ho, ho, ho, of course you will get big boobs for Christmas!Ho, ho, ho,Santa Claus-----Dear Santa: Dec 26 Boy did you deliver! She's beautiful and buxom. Maybe even too buxom the teddy only goes down to her navel and looks like it's going to rip from being that tight. Relief that I could breathe properly again, but regret that it was gone. I couldn't figure that one out.We emerged from the room with me back in my James clothes to find Dao waiting for us. Nin and I sat down as Dao drew Fai away and had a whispered conversation. I let my mind drift, wondering yet again what I had let myself in for. Where was this leading? What did I really want? Who was I? James, Jamie or Scarlett? I know I enjoyed being Jamie, and Scarlett. But, did that mean I had to stop being James? Could I cope with being all three? My head began to hurt as these thoughts spun around in my mind. Nin dragged me back to the present when she dug her elbow in my ribs and whispered. ‘What you think about Dao?’‘Huh?’‘I said, what you think about Dao?’ ‘Er, I don't know. I mean I think she's smart and efficient, seems to have everything under control. Why?’‘I think she gay.’ ‘What?’ ‘I think she gay. You know, she like girls.’ Nin said patiently as you might do to a slightly dim.
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